by Wayne Hinton, May 12, 1964
(written for a class grade in college)
Each night goes by just as before.
Nothing has really changed.
The birds still sing, the wind still blows,
But yet I feel estranged.
I guess it's been now one full year,
Or is it nearing two?
Like time, I have no meaning now,
My life was lived for you.
I know I didn't show it then,
Conceit was in my head.
That head is filled with questions now,
My actions all are dead.
Each question starts with just one word - Why?
No answer is in the air.
Why does love hurt a lover so?
And why do I still care?
There was a time I wouldn't care;
Oh, foolish then was I.
I brushed aside true love before,
And didn't blink an eye.
I know those loves could be renewed
If I but gave the sign,
But they could never match the joy
I had when you were mine.
I wish that I had known it then,
That I would feel like this.
I miss your dog, your loving eyes,
Your pug nose and your kiss.
Your kiss --- the thought causes a lump
Within my throat to grow.
I cough and try to free my breath,
Oh, heart! Stop beating so!
Your lips were soft lies a rose's leaf.
My heart beat so fast --- I'm sure you heard ---
As our two hearts did meet.
I never knew how much you cared.
You hid your feelings well.
I long to kiss your lips so much
I'd buy if you would sell.
Too many tales have met my ears.
None, I believe, are true
Because the girl with the tales
Is not the girl I knew.
I knew a fair young woman who,
Far older than her years,
Would sit in church of times with me
And shed her clean, soft tears.
She had a heart of gold, it seemed;
She held her morals high.
It seems impossible to me
She'd let those morals die.
Yes, you were young and tender then,
It cannot be denied,
And I was not much older, true,
When I walked by your side.
I love you then, and I still do,
My heart within me wails.
I long to hear your voice call
As sweet as a nightingale's.
No matter what the world may say;
No matter how you change;
No matter how my friends may try;
They'll ne'er my love derange.
I love you! ... What a simple phrase!
I said it once to you.
But then it had a pleading ring,
And I was losing you.
Remember how it was that day
You walked along the street?
I stopped to see a pretty girl
And she an ass did meet.
I begged and pleaded with you then,
A full-fledged fool was I,
For knowing you were leaving me
What could I do but cry?
I love you! ... It sounds silly now.
What did it mean to you?
Did you laugh inside too hard?
Oh, God! I wish I knew!
My thoughts were all a mingled then,
And not much better now;
My courage has all left me since;
I dare not breathe a vow;
My confidence has also gone;
Nothing have I left.
I live but yet I live not life,
For life itself has left.
There have been words by many men
More capable than I
Of telling stories of their loves
And how their loves did die.
But still I feel, as I lie here,
A hope I cannot hide.
I hope beyond all hope. But still ...
Has our love truly died?
Do you still hold some love for me?
Will we yet love again?
Just now that hope burned strong in me;
But now, it, too, must end.
Each night goes by just as before,
Nothing has really changed.
The birds still sing, the wind still blows,
And still I feel estranged.